He is someone who I will dearly miss, my mentor and my friend.
Dear Carlito, you have been such a strong-standing pillar who has stood by me and have taught me well. And today, when we both go our separate ways, we wish each other well but truly, I fear the times I will have no pillar to lean against. I step out into unfamiliar territory knowing in my heart of hearts that there will be no other Carlito.
A motivating soul, you had us each hold our heads up through every situation and with might, moved forward into the battlefield. You are a great leader, my friend, with the soul of a warrior who would not only ‘never back down from a challenge’ but would drive in us courage to confront it as well. And if a frown were to ever cross our foreheads, you would know just how to iron it out. Where went that frown when your fine logic erased all signs of it?
Your fine logic. More defined as your ability to present the perfect analogy related to any situation at any point in time. Relentless, you always endeavor for the best which is why I am certain you will be at great places all your life.
You are a fine person, who I have observed, read people well. And with a solution to everything, you are the one we always turned to. What a vibe you exude with your presence, you light up the darkest moment and make our hearts purr again.
Would I like to be like Carlito one day? Without the blink of an eye-lid. However, as I had mentioned earlier, there will be no other Carlito. Try as we may, such people are the hardest to come by - which makes me realize the privilege I have had of knowing you and to have worked with you. Until later, Peter.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Passing through
Outside, the sun descends and I approach the end of this junction in my life. Here, I’ve watched many suns go down and many rise. Many moons that shone through the windows that flickered an unimaginable warmth. I walk through the hallways of this place and sense the pointed pinch within my soul. The familiar surroundings I will leave behind, that enveloping and comforting sense of belonging.
As I stand at the door, staring out at new beginnings, an anxious spell sweeps my skin but just then I feel a calm and contained realization of moving on. One thing I’ve learnt - to be motionless is that stiff silence that lingers so long into time that you forget you are motionless. Guess all I’m doing is stirring a bit, snapping out of life’s many comforts and challenging myself to dive into the unknown. There I will find new lessons to be learned, new battles to be fought and new joys to be embraced.
Friends, there is no doubt we will meet again. Even though each of us may start a new chapter, does not mean we forget what happened at the start of the story. We meet people along the course of our lives to lock a bond, so when in time for the end of the world, everybody will know everybody. Just a thought that I have great fondness towards.
Back to the present.
This is no award ceremony for me to stand on stage with tears in my eyes giving thanks to all those who I believe have helped me get to where I am now. Nope, this is a different kind of high, which mind you, still calls for moist eyes and a very gratifying thanks to all those who have indeed helped me till here. So, thank you mentors who have taught me well, thank you friends who have laughed and broken bread with me, thank you all those without whom work would have been plain work.
I stare at my now empty desk and allow my mind to experience flashbacks of all the moments that made my time here worthwhile. Such amusing lunches, that desire for brilliant work, the laughter and chitter-chatter, stressful studio-time and I cannot forget each seed of learning.
I say goodbye to only my desk. The good memories and all, I will carry with me through life.
Signing out - Hafsa
As I stand at the door, staring out at new beginnings, an anxious spell sweeps my skin but just then I feel a calm and contained realization of moving on. One thing I’ve learnt - to be motionless is that stiff silence that lingers so long into time that you forget you are motionless. Guess all I’m doing is stirring a bit, snapping out of life’s many comforts and challenging myself to dive into the unknown. There I will find new lessons to be learned, new battles to be fought and new joys to be embraced.
Friends, there is no doubt we will meet again. Even though each of us may start a new chapter, does not mean we forget what happened at the start of the story. We meet people along the course of our lives to lock a bond, so when in time for the end of the world, everybody will know everybody. Just a thought that I have great fondness towards.
Back to the present.
This is no award ceremony for me to stand on stage with tears in my eyes giving thanks to all those who I believe have helped me get to where I am now. Nope, this is a different kind of high, which mind you, still calls for moist eyes and a very gratifying thanks to all those who have indeed helped me till here. So, thank you mentors who have taught me well, thank you friends who have laughed and broken bread with me, thank you all those without whom work would have been plain work.
I stare at my now empty desk and allow my mind to experience flashbacks of all the moments that made my time here worthwhile. Such amusing lunches, that desire for brilliant work, the laughter and chitter-chatter, stressful studio-time and I cannot forget each seed of learning.
I say goodbye to only my desk. The good memories and all, I will carry with me through life.
Signing out - Hafsa
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Unlikable thoughts
I have thoughts unmerciful and they play crosswords in my mind. How won’t they understand that they are not welcome? If only I could tell my thoughts to stop beating in the main hall of my brain. I have no control on these thoughts, they live a life of their own. There’s no telling them anything.
So, if I can’t beat them, I join them. I entertain them and give them wings to fly high. Do you think that my thoughts are good to be thought of? They are unpleasant with thorns aplenty and they scare my form of existence. Mind over matter they say. Absolutely, and they take over me like a plague.
They are of dark origin, they are prickly in nature and play dark scenario after dark scenario in my frame. Born from fear, bright with paranoia, these thoughts tease and tell me stories that are better left untold. The questioning thought ‘what if’ is the scariest sort for there are a million ‘what ifs’ that could pose as various combinations and probabilities. It would be perhaps a lifetime to go over each one to unravel each outcome.
An idol mind is a devil’s workshop. But is it really idol? For I feel consumed with a busy mind, thoughts meandering through the head leaving tracks and bruises in the subconscious compartment. And oh, please no, these bruises will take the form of my dreams at night to which I will jolt with awakedness and sit at my bed side to allow my thoughts to consume my mind for the remaining hours of the dark night…
So, if I can’t beat them, I join them. I entertain them and give them wings to fly high. Do you think that my thoughts are good to be thought of? They are unpleasant with thorns aplenty and they scare my form of existence. Mind over matter they say. Absolutely, and they take over me like a plague.
They are of dark origin, they are prickly in nature and play dark scenario after dark scenario in my frame. Born from fear, bright with paranoia, these thoughts tease and tell me stories that are better left untold. The questioning thought ‘what if’ is the scariest sort for there are a million ‘what ifs’ that could pose as various combinations and probabilities. It would be perhaps a lifetime to go over each one to unravel each outcome.
An idol mind is a devil’s workshop. But is it really idol? For I feel consumed with a busy mind, thoughts meandering through the head leaving tracks and bruises in the subconscious compartment. And oh, please no, these bruises will take the form of my dreams at night to which I will jolt with awakedness and sit at my bed side to allow my thoughts to consume my mind for the remaining hours of the dark night…
Night
The morning has been given to us such that a feeling of warmth overcomes us. We are enveloped with a sound and secure blanket that we wear everywhere we go during the day. Light sways past the ever-busy souls and laughter awakes our dismal minds. The trees, they sway in the afternoon heat and flowers breathe a sigh of relief. The night before was long and killed the light well. For now, it has vanished.
But it will approach; the awaiting night, for it promised its return. It pledged to twist the minds of souls at night, it lurks at dark. They say that spirits light the dark with their magical embrace. And stifle they do well the minds of souls who have returned from hard day’s labour. And awaken they do well the minds of those who find the darkness their only solution to get away.
Stay away night. You are the bitter side of me and them, we don't have sight of anything true or anything right. Stay away night.
But it will approach; the awaiting night, for it promised its return. It pledged to twist the minds of souls at night, it lurks at dark. They say that spirits light the dark with their magical embrace. And stifle they do well the minds of souls who have returned from hard day’s labour. And awaken they do well the minds of those who find the darkness their only solution to get away.
Stay away night. You are the bitter side of me and them, we don't have sight of anything true or anything right. Stay away night.
Intoxication
A fire surged within his insides and liver melted to a mere cube of solid nothing. Scarlet eyes and heart of black, decaying were the everything that the Lord had made him with. The liquor laughed its success and liver cried for mercy.
Lord, it is You who gave life to souls and from what I’ve learnt, You never willed them to perish in Your flaming fires of hell. It’s the averse abode for some souls, for souls with depreciating livers and burning gullets. It is hell for those souls with no prudence that sin is what they execute with every drop of intoxication. Lord, You didn’t will them to burn in the fires then, Lord, You must chide the Satan at his reprehensible doings. Give the Satan a few words of advise and ask him, Lord, to show a fraction of compassion to us helpless souls.
For me, Lord, hell as You describe it, is the one spot in Your creation that I wouldn’t want to see. Hell, You’ve portrayed such that my head would shatter into a million imaginary pieces and temples would pound and brain would knock of even having to think of hell’s offerings or should I call them 'non-offerings'?. I’ve heard and have come to learn that hell, Lord, You’ve made it more demon-like than You’ve made the famine and drought. Hell, as I know, You’ve furnished with nothing but raging inferno. You would set alight souls of Your creation. Why, Lord?
For we had sinned and blasphemed. Sinned by the gulp of pure ecstasy (and not a thing else). Sinned by the feeling of intoxication (a sense of elevation). Sinned by ignoring the fact that the Lord forbade us brandy because of the mere horrible consequences.
Lord, You have the power to reprimand the Satan. Then do so, Lord, for he is a grotesque being and the commander of sin. He pours the beverage, he makes the decisions and instils in the soul’s mind likeness towards sin. For, we know what sins are, we’re just driven into disapproval and denial of them.
You created hell for the fiends that are the cause of treacherous torture to souls. If You wanted You could have kept that devil from pulling innocent souls with it to hell! So, Lord, what is it like? What does hell really have in store for us souls? I can picture it as a fetid, black, over-sized oven thrown out in the middle of nowhere because it had become rusty. So what, Lord, tell us about heaven. Enlighten us with what pleasures and treasures lie there, surely many more than the agony of hell.
Like You have revealed, Lord, and how we all choose to believe, that only the pious get their place in heaven. So, what of those, Lord, who are pious but not completely? What is the rate of maximum godliness?
Lord, it is You who gave life to souls and from what I’ve learnt, You never willed them to perish in Your flaming fires of hell. It’s the averse abode for some souls, for souls with depreciating livers and burning gullets. It is hell for those souls with no prudence that sin is what they execute with every drop of intoxication. Lord, You didn’t will them to burn in the fires then, Lord, You must chide the Satan at his reprehensible doings. Give the Satan a few words of advise and ask him, Lord, to show a fraction of compassion to us helpless souls.
For me, Lord, hell as You describe it, is the one spot in Your creation that I wouldn’t want to see. Hell, You’ve portrayed such that my head would shatter into a million imaginary pieces and temples would pound and brain would knock of even having to think of hell’s offerings or should I call them 'non-offerings'?. I’ve heard and have come to learn that hell, Lord, You’ve made it more demon-like than You’ve made the famine and drought. Hell, as I know, You’ve furnished with nothing but raging inferno. You would set alight souls of Your creation. Why, Lord?
For we had sinned and blasphemed. Sinned by the gulp of pure ecstasy (and not a thing else). Sinned by the feeling of intoxication (a sense of elevation). Sinned by ignoring the fact that the Lord forbade us brandy because of the mere horrible consequences.
Lord, You have the power to reprimand the Satan. Then do so, Lord, for he is a grotesque being and the commander of sin. He pours the beverage, he makes the decisions and instils in the soul’s mind likeness towards sin. For, we know what sins are, we’re just driven into disapproval and denial of them.
You created hell for the fiends that are the cause of treacherous torture to souls. If You wanted You could have kept that devil from pulling innocent souls with it to hell! So, Lord, what is it like? What does hell really have in store for us souls? I can picture it as a fetid, black, over-sized oven thrown out in the middle of nowhere because it had become rusty. So what, Lord, tell us about heaven. Enlighten us with what pleasures and treasures lie there, surely many more than the agony of hell.
Like You have revealed, Lord, and how we all choose to believe, that only the pious get their place in heaven. So, what of those, Lord, who are pious but not completely? What is the rate of maximum godliness?
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